


looking for group

by scatteringmyashes



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - MMORPG, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, MMORPGs, Mental Health Issues, Online Friendship, Past Child Abuse, Past Drug Addiction, Past Suicide Attempt, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:29:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23973031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatteringmyashes/pseuds/scatteringmyashes
Summary: “Naesala betrayed the guild for 9,000 gold” and other reasons why Tibarn is going to come over and strangle him with his bare hands.A Tellius centric MMORPG AU
Relationships: Almedha & Senerio | Soren, Ike/Senerio | Soren, Naesala/Leanne (Fire Emblem), Nailah/Rafiel (Fire Emblem), Reyson/Tibarn (Fire Emblem)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 84





	looking for group

**Author's Note:**

> This surfaced from a joke and then became reality and then, because I am unapologetically a Soren stan, got sad. But it's also happy. In moments.
> 
> As a point of reference, this fic does take place in the same universe as my other MMORPG fics, so this takes place in Fódlan rather than Tellius - if you haven't played 3H then that's okay, you aren't missing much from this fic. 
> 
> One thing I want to mention up front is that Almedha does have a moment where it's HEAVILY implied that she's going to try to hurt herself/possibly try to kill herself. If this concerns you, please skip from "[whisper] bitterblackbride: Why aren’t you answering my messages, Soren?" to "[whisper] blackdragonarbiter: I wanted to message you directly with my apologies." She does not actually hurt herself at all. I do not condone her actions, though I do try to paint her as a sympathetic and unfortunately suffering person. 
> 
> Other than that, let me know if there's something else you feel should be tagged and let me know what you think? It's been a hot second since I've written these characters and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Cheers!

_ [Conversation with kingsleftear] _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Hey Ulki how’s my favorite bird boy doing _

_ [whisper] kingsleftear: What do you want? _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: What, a guy can’t message someone just to see how he’s doing _

_ [whisper] kingsleftear: No. YOU cannot do that. Other people can. Not you. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Fair play _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Look, I’m wondering if Tibarn could unblock me so I can talk to him _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: It’s been a week, isn’t he sick of being moody yet _

_ [whisper] kingsleftear: No. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: You really aren’t giving me much to work with here _

_ [whisper] kingsleftear: Good. _

_ [whisper] kingsleftear: Tibarn still hates your guts. I wouldn’t bother him if I were you. _

_ [whisper] kingsleftear: And that is all I will say on it. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Ugh, fine _

_ [End of conversation with kingsleftear] _

Click.

_ [Conversation with kingsrighteye] _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Hey, so I was wondering if you knew how Tibarn was feeling about me _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: He definitely still wants you a little dead baha xD _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Oh, only a little? That’s less than before _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: I still wouldn’t bug him if I were you lol _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Well, I can’t even if I wanted to  _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: He has me blocked _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: I don’t suppose you could convince him otherwise _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: lol no  _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: As useful as always, Janaff _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: I try :> _

_ [End of conversation with kingsrighteye] _

Click.

_ [Conversation with wheelsforwings] _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Heyyyy how’s my favorite heron doing _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Oh, hello, Naesala! _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: How are you today? _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Doing just great Rafiel, hope you’re doing okay  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: I am. Naliah and I are going to go to the movies tonight.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Also, you do not need to flatter me. I know that you prefer Leanne over me. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Okay but in my defense, your sister is sort of adorable _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: She is a gentle soul and I am blessed every day to be reunited with her and my brother. _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Now, what may I help you with? _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Man, no one really thinks I just message them for fun, huh _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Janaff and Ulki both messaged me right before you did. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Well, what do you say then can you help an old crow out _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Naesala, you’re thirty one. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Eh, age is just a number I feel like I’m fifty already  _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: But really, Tibarn can’t seriously still be mad at me, can he _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Naliah has expressly told me not to get involved as the stress could be bad for my health.  _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Ugh, I wish I could be mad at you _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Tell her I said hello _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: I will!  _

_ [End of conversation with wheelsforwings] _

Click.

_ [Conversation with hawking] _

_ [whisper] hawking: stop messaging the others or I will come and strangle you with my bare hands. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: ooooh kinky ;) _

_ [whisper] hawking: I swear to the goddess I will end your miserable existence. _

_ [whisper] hawking: I know where you live. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: haha and then what _

_ [This user has blocked you] _

Naesala frowned. Click.

_ [Conversation with tenuousreverb]  _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Hey, Reyson, your boyfriend blocked me again can you talk to him about that _

_ [whispel] tenuousreverb: No. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: You deserve it. You are fortunate I have not blocked you as well. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Do I really deserve it that much  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Yes. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Come on do your old childhood friend a favor  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: No.  _

_ [This user has blocked you] _

#

_ [Conversation with trulybloodied] _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Have you thought at all about my offer? _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Yes. My answer has not changed. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Why? What do the Greil Mercenaries have that my guild cannot offer in spades? _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: You know the answer. Don’t insult both of our intelligences stating otherwise. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Very well. I’ll say it in other terms then.  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: You aren’t like most people. I’m not like most people either. The others are kind. You’re lucky to have them.  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: And I would never stand between you and Ike. But when Ike stops playing, what happens to you?  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Do you assume leadership? Does Titania?  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: When Ike stops, I stop. It is as simple as that. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Is it? _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: You would never understand. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Maybe, maybe not. All I know is that it’s dangerous to rely on one person for everything. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Ike is different. He’s not like other men.  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: But he’s still a man. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: You know I only offer out of concern. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Which is the only reason I even entertain this conversation. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Heh. And people think you’re so mean. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Is there a reason for this continued chatter? _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Do you always need a reason to talk to someone, Soren? Is it not enough to simply enjoy another person’s company? _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: That assumes that I enjoy your company. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: You are talking to me. Is it too much to assume you like me, even a little?  _

“Hey, who are you talking to? You look like you're going to set the computer on fire,” Ike said, walking over and resting his head on Soren’s shoulder. He had to bend down at an uncomfortable angle to do so, but it was second nature by this point. “Stefan? I thought you two were friends.” 

“We are,” Soren replied as he typed out his reply. Ike snorted. Soren bit his bottom lip. “You and Ranulf are constantly taunting one another.”

“That’s because I like to pull his tail." Ike backread the conversation. Soren half expected him to ask what he meant when he said that Ike is different, but there was really no need. Ike knew that Soren, at the very least, considered him unique and had for a very long time. "I thought he gave up recruiting you.”

Soren closed the chat window and then turned his head so he could kiss Ike. “You know that I only care for you.”

Ike laughed, accepting the kiss. “And Mist was worried that you weren’t a romantic.”

“I’m not. I’m a pragmatist. It’s just practical to care for you.” As if Soren wasn’t the one who had cried the most at their wedding. He went back to the game, where his avatar was currently standing in the middle of a city. "I'm waiting for Atropos."

Ike straightened up, yawning. He blinked a few times, gazing out the office window. "Oh, talking about builds again?" He asked. 

"Yes." Soren flicked some hair out of his face. "Atropos claims that he has a dark mage build that can beat me."

"No one can beat you," Ike said automatically. 

"No one can beat you," Soren replied. "Atropos has some good concepts. His theory is strong. I'm interested to see what he comes up with." 

Ike hummed. A moment passed. "You've known Atropos for how long?" 

"Three years."

"And you haven't asked him for his name?" 

"He has never offered it. I have never asked." It was a straightforward answer. For Soren, it really was nothing more. Ike shrugged. 

"Just weird, is all. You could be talking with Boyd. Or Gatrie."

Soren snorted. "I have seen the way Boyd does his builds. I am definitely not talking to him." He glanced towards his husband. "Are you going to the gym?" 

Ike nodded. "Boyd and Keiran are meeting me there."

"No Oscar?" 

"He had to work." Perhaps a few years ago, Ike would have commented on Soren's curiosity about other people who weren't him, but Soren had been in therapy for those few years and he liked to say that his ability to fake sociability was better than before. "I'll text you when I'm done. Love you." Ike kissed Soren on the top of his head. 

"Love you," Soren echoed as he watched his husband leave. 

He ignored a message from _ bitterblackbride _ .

#

_ [Conversation with maidenofdawn] _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Hello, friend!  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: Hi, Micaiah. How are you?  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I'm doing very well. How are you?  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: Fine. My medications are doing much better. My therapist hopes that these do the trick. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: That's good! I hope they help :) _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: Thank you. Are you and Sothe alright?  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Yes, we're doing well. It'll be a strange winter without snow, but I like it much better here than in Adrestia. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: How are classes going?  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: Very well! I get some looks because I am older than most students, but there are a few others who are 'New Resources' as the term goes, so it's fine.  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Is your mother still insisting you go back for the break?  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: Yes… she seems to think that she can convince Soren to visit as well. _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: She wants us to meet. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I'm sorry. That sounds difficult. At least it's unlikely that he'll actually go. _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: At this point, I'm not sure which is worse. Soren going and having to make small talk with him or Soren not going and having to hear her talk about him the whole time anyways.  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Well, if you want to have an excuse not to go, we can always say my health is acting up again and you want to help me and Sothe around the apartment. _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: You're too kind. Besides, I doubt Sothe would want to deal with me for a month. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Oh, I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He likes you a lot more than he used to!  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: He used to think that I was an obnoxious child. It's not hard for him to like me more now. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Ah, well, I do say that Sothe can be overprotective of me.  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: But he would be fine if you stayed over for a bit.  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: Thank you. I probably will not encroach on your hospitality so much, but it's good to know I have the option.  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Of course. _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: Unrelated, but I recently spoke with one of our mutual friends. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Oh?  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: You know how he is… convinced that someone will find him out if we go into too much detail… _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Right! Because he thinks someone is reading our messages.  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: How is he though?  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: He's doing well. He's currently with The Bird Tribe.  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I'm surprised that Tibarn let him in.  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: I don't think Tibarn knows.  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Well, as long as our friends are doing okay, I suppose that is all we can ask for. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I assume you're talking about both of them, right?  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: Yes, it does seem like both of them are there.  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: And from what I've heard, Naesala is up to his usual games. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: It can't be worse than the server war that broke out, so I am not too worried about it. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Then again, Naesala basically started that too so maybe I should be. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: You know, if you want to join a guild for protection, the Dawn Brigade always has room.  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: Thank you, but I think I am best on my own for now. I still need some space from everything.  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: Maybe in a few weeks. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Well, the offer doesn't expire so let me know.  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: I will.  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: But let us hope that there are no issues requiring protection. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Of course! _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: I have classes, but I will message you later. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Bye! Have a good class :)  _

_ [whisper] charmedbyspirits: Bye!  _

_ [End of conversation with maidenofdawn] _

#

_ [Conversation with wheelsforwings] _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: How was the movie, brother?  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: It was good! Nailah bought me popcorn.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I am happy to hear that.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Oh, Leanne says hello. She wants to say that she misses you.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Haha, I will message her later. Tell her I say hello too!  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I think she wants you to join the guild again.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: I know, but Hatari has been so welcoming. And I think Nailah would be sad :(  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: We have much less chaos as well, so it's better for my stress. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Unfortunately, I have to agree with that. Naesala is causing trouble, the sky is blue — I shouldn't even be surprised.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Yes, he messaged me yesterday. Has Tibarn unblocked him yet? _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I do not think so.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I blocked him too. _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Haha well, I suppose he deserves it.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Tibarn is also a child about it.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Oh?  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: He kept marching around the apartment in a huff over this.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: We were making such good progress on his eating habits, but he was eating nothing but Almyran takeout and chips.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Are you staying with him still?  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: No, I went back to my apartment when Tibarn pulled out an entire roast chicken and started ripping it apart with his bare hands.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Oh, I'm sorry.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Nailah does not eat meat in front of me anymore — she understands it makes me nauseous. I thought Tibarn promised to do the same? _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: He also promised to pick his socks off the ground more often, but we all know how that went.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Sometimes I wonder if it's on purpose or if all the blows to the head have done permanent damage.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Have you thought about leaving the guild for a little while?  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I need a guild in order to do anything in this game. I do not want to have to make a smurf. _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Smurf? _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Like… a new account that is very low level, but because I am a skilled player it isn't fair to actual new players.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Oh! I can understand how that would not be fair. _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Well, if your concern is a guild, then you know you always have the option to join Hatari.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: You think that Nailah would be okay with that?  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: I cannot see why not. You are my brother, after all :)  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Hm, well, you make a good point.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: We are smaller than The Bird Tribe but we have less drama because of that.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: You have less drama because Tibarn and Naesala aren't in your guild.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Technically, Naesala is not in your guild either.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Ha! If only it were that easy.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: He is a better man than we give him credit for, I think. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: You say that because Leanne likes him.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I do not know how to feel about him.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Well, Leanne has a good sense for these sorts of things. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I am supposed to have a good sense for this, but here I am almost eight years into a relationship with a man who takes a video game too seriously.  _

_ [whisper] wheelsforwings: Do you wish for me to ask Nailah to speak with him?  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: No, I do not need her to fight my battles. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: In fact, I think that I will be discussing another matter entirely with her.  _

_ [End of conversation with wheelsforwings] _

#

_ [Conversation with TheCatsMeow] _

_ [whisper] TheCatsMeow: heyyyyy ike you heard the news :3  _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: what news? _

_ [whisper] TheCatsMeow: tibarn and reyson are fighting again!!! _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: i thought it was naesala they were fighting with? _

_ [whisper] TheCatsMeow: well they were buttttt reyson got mad at tibarn and now he's left the guild!!! _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: who left what now. _

_ [whisper] TheCatsMeow: reyson left the guild and he's with hatari now and tibarn is pissssssssed it's hilarious!!! _

_ [whisper] TheCatsMeow: skirmir was telling me about it I guess there's a chat just for laguz guild leaders or something???  _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: why did reyson leave the guild?  _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: did he and tibarn break up? _

_ [whisper] TheCatsMeow: i don't know??? it looks like they just are taking a break but you never know with reyson lol  _

_ [whisper] TheCatsMeow: either way, it looks like its gonna be a huuuuuuuge mess :3  _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: no kidding. _

Ike pulled his headphones away from his ears and craned his neck. Soren was reading on the tiny loveseat that sat in their office, only a few feet from where Ike was hunched over his computer. A sixth sense had Soren looking at his husband and a single eyebrow raised in silent question. 

"If Reyson's fighting with Tibarn about  _ Fire Emblem _ again, should I just leave them to go at it?" Ike's actual question lay between the lines — and people thought he wasn't subtle. 

Soren shrugged. "They are your friends. If you want to get involved, I will not stop you." 

"Cool." Ike fell silent as he continued to read the messages from Ranulf. "Do you think it's because of Naesala?" 

"Most likely." Soren glanced back at his book and turned a page. Ike smiled. Soren looked up. "What?" 

"Just thinking about how beautiful you are." 

Soren flushed red, bangs falling down to cover his face. "You cannot just say things like that." 

"We've been married for like six years," Ike pointed out. "Reyson and Tibarn were at our wedding. You cried." 

"I did not cry," Soren lied. "What would you gain from calling Reyson?" He unsubtly changed the subject. 

"I don't know. Reassurance that he won't punch something and break his hand again?" Ike leaned back. His chair creaked ominously. Soren snorted. "What? It happened!" 

"Once, when he was trying to break a board to impress Tibarn." Soren went back to his book, but not before muttering, "I swear, if this becomes another server war, then we are moving to the one in Brigid." 

Ike smiled. He really did have the best husband. 

#

_ [Conversation with kingsleftear] _

_ [whisper] seeing912: Hello! I wanted to see if you were still free to go on our hike tomorrow. _

_ [whisper] seeing912: With everything happening between your guild and Hatari, I understand if you need to be present.  _

_ [whisper] kingsleftear: I would rather eat a man's liver than continue to listen to Tibarn.  _

_ [whisper] seeing912: Oh, is it that bad?  _

_ [whisper] kingsleftear: YES.  _

_ [whisper] seeing912: I am sorry to hear that. _

_ [whisper] kingsleftear: Please save me. _

_ [whisper] seeing912: I will see you tomorrow then! :) _

_ [whisper] seeing912: Would you like me to send you a few of my favorite meditation videos? _

_ [whisper] kingsleftear: Yes… _

_ [whisper] kingsleftear: :> _

_ [whisper] seeing912: Consider it done. _

_ [End of conversation with kingsleftear] _

#

_ [Conversation with kingsrighteye] _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: Hey, Grandpa, I need someone to practice shooting at. You game or chicken? _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: You want to do what lol  _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: You heard me. Read me. Whatever. _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: Wait I thought that you were stopping playing this game ever since Rolf out-leveled you  _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: He’s got more free time, but I’m not going to let him get complacent.  _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: Besides, someone’s gotta keep him from developing an ego. _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: And you’ve got a big enough ego for all of us right haha _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: Damn straight I do.  _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: Kids starting with this as their first MMO… Back in my day, we were lucky if the connection lasted long enough for a full raid. Now? All these complaints about security and privacy.  _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: I’ve been hacked a half dozen times and I’ve watched idiots get doxxed because they pissed off the wrong guild. These kids wouldn’t have survived the things I’ve seen.  _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: You act like you’re so old lol  _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: Do I need to send you another picture of my first edition copy of Plumber Bros? _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: Nah, I know you’re old as shit, Grandpa. _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: That doesn’t answer my question though. Can I shoot arrows at you or not?  _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: IRL or in game cause right now I wouldn’t mind someone taking me out  _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: As in date or murder idc I’m not picky :> _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: Is this more of Tibarn’s dramatics? _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: Man acts like a child. I can’t believe he’s the leader of your guild.  _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: We didn’t pick him for his communication skills lol  _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowsIII: Obviously.  _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowsIII: What’s the shit storm of the day? _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: Honestly the usual  _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: Naesala begging forgiveness and fucking up, Tibarn getting mad at him, Reyson getting mad at HIM… and then the rest of us are stuck here looking like idiots smh _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: Tibarn’s like actually pissed though like really really pissed _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: It’s easier for him to blame Naesala for his own fuck-ups I’m sure. _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: I still kind of hate him, but at least Ike isn’t the subject of half a dozen scandals in less than three days. Bah.  _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: hahahahaha  _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: Y’know what, let’s train together  _

_ [whisper] kingsrighteye: Someone has to keep YOUR ego in check after all :> _

_ [whisper] IIIArrowIII: Bring it on, Grandpa. _

_ [End of conversation with kingsrighteye]  _

#

_ [Conversation with blackdragonarbiter] _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: Hello, Soren. We were wondering if you wanted to participate in a raid with us tonight?  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Isn’t it still the morning for you? _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: It’s 1800 your time, if I am not mistaken.  _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: My sister misses you. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: No. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: Pardon?  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: That is my answer. No.  _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: All right. But do remember, the offer for this winter still stands. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: Ike is welcome to accompany you as well. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I don’t care. Stop messaging me before I block you too. _

_ [End of conversation with blackdragonarbiter] _

#

_ [Conversation with tenuousreverb] _

_ [whisper] hawking: hey babe can we talk. _

_ [whisper] hawking: are you still mad at me. _

_ [whisper] hawking: I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen. I even vacuumed. _

_ [whisper] hawking: your plants miss you. if you don’t come back they’re gonna start to wilt.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: If a single plant wilts under your care, then I will make your life a personal hell. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Those are blossoms from Duscur.  _

_ [whisper] hawking: I know I know I’m just no good at this plant stuff like you. _

_ [whisper] hawking: can you please come back so we can talk about this? _

_ [whisper] hawking: it’s killing me to see you with Hatari by your name. you’re a member of the bird tribe. it’s not the same without you. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Are you kidding me, Tibarn? Do you think this is just about some MMO? _

_ [whisper] hawking: er, no. not when you put it like that. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: It’s because you take this so seriously that it affects us in the real world! _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Naesala is an idiot and yes, he hurt the guild, but you’re acting like he actually stabbed you in the back. _

_ [whisper] hawking: Naesala apologized and I’ve decided to accept it this time. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: This time, that time — you say that every time. _

_ [whisper] hawking: I mean it!!! _

_ [whisper] hawking: you gotta let me prove it. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I don’t have to let you prove anything. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I know Naesala is your ex, but it’s really ridiculous. That was almost ten years ago.  _

_ [whisper] hawking: if you’re implying I still have a thing for him, you know that’s not true. I love you, Reyson, more than I’ve ever loved anyone before. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Oh, I know you don’t like him. But he gets under your skin. You forget that you’re almost 40 and instead act like a 20-something fresh out of college. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: And every time we talk about it, you promise to change and then two months or four months or whatever — we’re back where we started. _

_ [whisper] hawking: this is worse than what Naesala’s usual tricks are. he didn’t just steal some gear or shit all over my internet or something. _

_ [whisper] hawking: he sold the guild out, Reyson. he was gonna let Begnion and all those shits cream us. _

_ [whisper] hawking: but you know what, I made my peace. I accepted his apology. _

_ [whisper] hawking: he even gave me the 9k. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: The what? _

_ [whisper] hawking: it’s all water under the bridge. _

_ [whisper] hawking: the 9k. you know, what he got to sell us out. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: One moment.  _

_ [End of conversation with tenuousreverb] _

#

_ [Conversation with skullduggeryshadow] _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Hello, Naesala. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshaow: Whatever it was, I didn’t do it  _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: I’ve been on my best behavior. Ask Leanne, she can vouch for me _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I don’t want to think about you and my sister, thank you. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: No, I had a question for you. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Oh, uh, would you look at the time _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: It’s getting late here, I really should go _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: But send it anyway and I’ll answer when I see it _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: A little bird told me that you sold the guild out for 9k. Is that true? _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: You know, I don’t think Tibarn would appreciate being called little _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Answer the question, Naesala, before I tell Leanne about the turnip scam. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: In my defense, it was 9k and like, some nice boosts but I already used those so I can’t really give them to Tibarn, now can I _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Are you SHITTING me? You took the guild that helped you since you started this game and sold them out for NINE THOUSAND GOLD? A guild with people you know IRL, including your childhood best friend and the girl you have a crush on — and yes, we all know that you like Leanne and that is a conversation we can have another day — people you LITERALLY went to school with.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: We are at LEAST worth 100k, no, we’re worth 999k plus a bit of real-life kickbacks because Tibarn has the right idea and I KNOW where you live. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Aw, come on, that’s a bit unfair _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: You can say that it’s unfair when I am at your apartment and about to strangle you with my bare hands. _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Is that sort of physical exercise really recommended for you because I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: I don’t care what you do to me I’ll be fine  _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Don’t you have allergies _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: The tree outside my apartment is all pollen-y and shit, I wouldn’t want you to get sick _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: Reyson? You there buddy _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: I am going to assume you’re on your way to kill me, in which case I regret to inform you that I am actually not at my place right now, but you are more than welcome to visit  _

_ [whisper] skullduggeryshadow: I think my mail might be piling up, if you want to get that _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I hate you.  _

_ [End of conversation with skullduggeryshadow] _

_ # _

_ [Conversation with tenuousreverb]  _

_ [whisper] songbird: Brother, why are you being so mean to Naesala? :(  _

_ [whisper] songbird: He is very upset. He wishes for you to forgive him.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: He is only pretending to make you sad. I won't fall for it.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Wait, are you with him now?  _

_ [whisper] songbird: Maaaaybe~  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Tell him to stop being a coward!!!  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: He shouldn't be anywhere near you. I've told him before what I'd do if he so much as touched you.  _

_ [whisper] songbird: He's been quite the gentleman! He's even sleeping on the couch. But he's very sad so I've been keeping him company :(  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: He's a rascal and a bastard and he's just pretending to be sad in order to make you like him more.  _

_ [whisper] songbird: No, I can sense it. He's truly sorry for causing so much grief and he would wish for this never to happen again. _

_ [whisper] songbird: I trust him and you should too~  _

_ [whisper] songbird: Besides, this is only a video game. He didn't hurt anyone in real life ;P  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I would use Tibarn as an example, but it hardly seems reasonable to blame even Naesala for Tibarn acting like that.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: But really, sister's are you sure it's wise to have him spend the night? Multiple nights?  _

_ [whisper] songbird: I know that this may sound strange, but some people can spend the night in Naesala's presence without having sex with him :)  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: This is why people say to never be friends with your ex…  _

_ [whisper] songbird: So you will forgive him, yes?  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I'm still mad at him, but I won't fight him irl.  _

_ [whisper] songbird: Thank you, brother~ _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: He's on thin ice.  _

_ [whisper] songbird: He knows!  _

_ [whisper] songbird: And you know that Naesala would never hurt me.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Hmph. Well, there was a time where I thought that even he would not be enough of a bastard to do something against me, but we all know what happened.  _

_ [whisper] songbird: You broke up with him in high school, not the other way around~  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I was referring to the fact that he is interested in my little sister, which is so frustrating to every fiber of my being.  _

_ [whisper] songbird: You would like him more if you took the time to listen to him more. _

_ [whisper] songbird: He is much different from when we were in high school.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Yes, now he drives a sports car instead of a motorcycle. _

_ [whisper] songbird: I remember you liking the motorcycle~ _

_ [whisper] songbird: Naesala is informing you that you very much liked the motorcycle :)  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I am NOT having this conversation with you.  _

_ [whisper] songbird: :)  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Tell Naesala that if he touches a hair on your head, I will release Nailah on him.  _

_ [whisper] songbird: He knows~ _

_ [whisper] songbird: Tell Tibarn I said hello :)  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: We… are not on speaking terms either.  _

_ [whisper] songbird: Reyson!!!  _

_ [whisper] songbird: And you get mad at Naesala for not talking about his feelings >:(  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I just need some space from him.  _

_ [whisper] songbird: Did you tell him why you were leaving? _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: I told him that he had to consider his actions.  _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: He apologized to me. I think I may accept it. _

_ [whisper] songbird: You are mad at Tibarn because he is taking the game so seriously, yes? _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: Yes. _

_ [whisper] songbird: And then you yelled at Naesala about the game. _

_ [whisper] tenuousreverb: … Yes. _

_ [whisper] songbird: You are all idiots.  _

_ [End of conversation with tenuousreverb] _

_ # _

_ [Conversation with blackbloodbranded] _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: Hello, Soren. _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: How are you today?  _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: I saw the most wonderful birds out on a walk today. The forecast says that there will be rain soon. _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: It was raining when I gave birth to you.  _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: I remember the sound of the rain against the roof of the hospital.  _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: When you were born, you didn’t make a sound. The doctors thought you were so strange but I knew the truth. You were strong. Even then, you were so strong. _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: I am proud of you, Soren. Even though you’ve changed so much, a mother’s love has no conditions. I love you and you will always be my child. _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: Please think about visiting this winter. I would love you to see Enbarr in the winter. And it will be less cold than in Fhirdiad.  _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: We can celebrate the holidays together as a family. Pelleas will even be there. You can meet your brother.  _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: Doesn’t that sound wonderful? _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: I want to see you again, Soren.  _

_ [End of conversation with blackbloodbranded] _

#

_ [Conversation with blackbloodbranded] _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: Hello, Soren.  _

_ [whisper] bitterblackblood: Your grandfather said that he has clients in Fhirdiad. He may have to visit on a work trip. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? I can see the city where I met your father again… _

_ [whisper] bitterblackblood: I can visit you. _

_ [whisper] bitterblackblood: You still live there with Ike, don’t you? _

_ [whisper] bitterblackblood: It’s supposed to be so beautiful in the winter. One of the oldest cities in the continent. _

_ [whisper] bitterblackblood: I remember your father taking me on dates to every theater in the city, to every restaurant. Such a gentleman, back then, before…  _

_ [End of conversation with blackbloodbranded] _

_ # _

_ [Conversation with blackbloodbranded] _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: Why aren’t you answering my messages, Soren? _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: Why are you hurting your mother like this? _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: I just want to love you, Soren. I want to see you again. Is it so cruel for a mother to miss her son? _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: I looked for you. I looked for you for so many years. I never would have stopped had I not found Pelleas. You were all I could think about for so long… You haunt me even now. _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: You haunt your own mother.  _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: Do you hate me? Is that why you do this to me? There is nothing left that you could do to me. I am hollow, a void of despair.  _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: One son, left. One son, gone.  _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: What is the point of my pathetic existence? Why must I go on like this? You wouldn’t care if I were dead, would you?  _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: Would you even come to by funeral? Or would you pretend to never have even known me? _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: Oh my poor Pelleas… he would miss me… he always knew how to treat his poor, pathetic mother…  _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: At least he is grateful, unlike you. He will miss his mother.  _

_ [End of conversation with blackbloodbranded] _

_ # _

_ [Conversation with heroofblueflames] _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: I wanted to message you directly with my apologies.  _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: My sister has been skipping her therapy appointments. I am escorting her to them now so it will not happen again. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: Please let Soren know that she will not have a breakdown like that again. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: tell him yourself. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: i am not going to be a messenger bird. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: I would, but he has blocked me and everyone else in the family. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: I do not blame him nor do I want him to feel any guilt for what has happened. The rest of us know this is not his fault. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: And I apologize for dragging you into this. It should be a family matter.  _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: i will tell him that you apologized and that you are monitoring almedha. but i cannot accept your apology. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: I wouldn’t ask that of you. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: Thank you, Ike. I know that this must be unbelievably difficult for you. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: soren has been to therapy. he’s been trying to get better. trying to heal from everything that happened to him as a child. i know that almedha never lifted a hand against him, but her negligence resulted in him being left with that man.  _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: i love him. he is the only person i have ever loved. and for that reason, i cannot accept your apology because if it is a family matter, then it is my matter. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: i am his husband. i am his family. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: Of course. I misspoke. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: I’m sorry. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: i know. i just am worried about him. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: I worry too. I cannot imagine that anyone would wish to find out that his family is, well, like ours. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: And every time I think Almedha is a step closer, something happens.  _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: i will talk to soren for you. that’s all i can do. _

_ [whisper] blackdragonarbiter: Thank you, Ike. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: don’t mention it. _

_ [End of conversation with heroofblueflames] _

_ # _

_ [Conversation with bitterblackbride] _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: If you ever message me something like that again, I will never talk to you again. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Kurthnaga told me that you were safe. He said that you were skipping your therapy appointments. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I don’t care what you do until it affects me. I am cold, cruel, and callous. The world made me this way. The abuse that I suffered at the hands of your husband, the man who kidnapped me out of my crib, who gave me away when I couldn’t meet his standards, made me this way. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: You may not have hit me as a child, but you never held me either. _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: I’m sorry, Soren. I’m so sorry. _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: You must believe me. You know that I would never hurt you. I’d rather die than hurt you. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I know. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I know, but I cannot trust you when you say that. _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: A mother would never hurt her child. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Yet they do every day.  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Mothers who smother their children still harm them even if it’s to save them. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: You say that you would never hurt me, and then you threaten to kill yourself. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: How else am I supposed to interpret that? _

_ [whisper] bitterblackbride: I know… Please forgive your poor mother… she does not know what she says, sometimes. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I don’t care about your apologies. I care about your actions. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Goodbye, Almedha. _

_ [End of conversation with bitterblackbride]  _

_ # _

_ [Conversation with heroofblueflames] _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I know that this is out of the blue, but I had a question for you. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: what? _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I don’t think it will come to this, but if another server war breaks out, what side will the Greil Mercenaries be on? _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: we’re mercenaries. it’ll be whoever pays us the most. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I know that’s not true. You want me to believe that the legend himself, Ike, first ever player to get the coveted Hero class, would do something just for gold? _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: it’s a moot point, as soren would say. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: if another war breaks out, soren said he’s moving us to a different server. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Ha, fair play. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: why are you asking? _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I’m just curious. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: would you take over daein again? or sothe? _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: No, they deserve someone who can focus on them full time. I will continue my work with the Dawn Brigade. If we are needed, Daein will have us.  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I hope that we will not be enemies again. We have more in common than not.  _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: true, but you were the enemy. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: i had to protect the people who meant the most to me. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: If a war breaks out and I can’t convince him to join, will you extend protection to charmedbyspirits?  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: He’s come a long way since the war. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: i’m surprised he can play this game without a guild. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Out of all of us, he was never the true face of our side. It’s the only way he’s escaped notice so far. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: You know who he is though, don’t you? _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: does pelleas know that soren has been invited to enbarr over the winter? _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Yes. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: what does he think? _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I think you should ask him. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: what do you think? _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I think that Almedha is struggling because it’s been almost five years since one brother died so she could talk to Soren again. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: that wasn’t soren’s fault. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: No, and it wasn’t Almedha’s fault either, but apparently her father still blamed her. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I feel sorry for her, really. After everything she went through, she still has nothing to show for it. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: soren’s not dead. if she respected his boundaries more, she would have a son. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: and how does she treat pelleas? does she obsess over him too?  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I would ask whether it is okay to vilify her for her mental health when you can find it in yourself to coddle Soren even after what he’s done.  _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflaomes: i feel for her. i do. but soren’s dealt with more than you or her can ever imagine. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I didn’t message you to fight you, Ike.  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I see so many mothers who want to protect their children… so many families that can’t be together… Maybe you’re right and she doesn’t deserve another chance, but maybe she does.  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Maybe seeing Soren again would be the push that she needs. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: or maybe seeing her again will remind him of all the things he’s worked hard to move past.  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: You know Soren better than I do, but I know mothers better than you do. I would not prescribe malice to Almedha when sorrow is just as applicable. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: i respect almedha. unfortunately for her, i value soren more. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: That is your decision. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I hope that we don’t have to fight each other. Despite what you may believe, it pains me to have to fight someone who is, inherently, a good man. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: i don’t like fighting you either. sothe cares for you for a reason. i like to think he’s got a good head on his shoulders. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: I will take that as a compliment. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: it is what it is. you can take it however you want. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflamesn: any other awkward conversations we can have. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: we can talk about the time i punched a transphobe for you at the conference we met at. that was fun. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Oh yes, I remember. You got security called and we all almost got kicked out.  _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: Sothe had told me so many stories, yet I didn’t quite expect that to happen. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: i’m full of surprises. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: That you are. _

_ [whisper] maidenofdawn: This was a good conversation. Thank you. _

_ [whisper] heroofblueflames: sure.  _

_ [End of conversation with heroofblueflames] _

#

_ [TheLionsShare has created a group with unflinchingeye, hawking, and skullduggeryshadow] _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: WE ARE GATHERED HERE TO DISCUSS THE FUTURE OF THE ALLIANCE. _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: We are gathered here today to talk about the consequences of Tibarn’s actions. _

_ [groupchat] hawking: hey!!! _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: Oooooh I’m getting my popcorn  _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: Don’t be too happy, Naesala. You’re next.  _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: I know, I just like to make Tibarn sweat it’s one of my favorite pasttimes _

_ [groupchat] hawking: you wish you cowardly corvid  _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: WE WILL KEEP THE PERSONAL INSULTS TO MINIMUM, THOUGH I SHARE YOUR DISPLEASURE WITH NAESALA, TIBARN. _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: BUT MY UNCLE WOULD NOT WANT ME TO LEAD THE ALLIANCE ASTRAY. _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: I think that this is simple. Tibarn, you need to talk to Reyson. Naesala, you need to apologize properly to Reyson.  _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: Skirmir, you need to please stop typing in all caps. I am certain Ranulf can show you how to do that. _

_ [groupchat] hawking: I talked to Reyson but then he got mad and started yelling at Naesala. _

_ [groupchat] hawking: I vote that we turn Naesala into the mods and let them deal with him. _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: Ouch _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: I haven’t been banned on this account yet I’d hate to ruin my streak _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: IF I DO NOT TYPE IN CAPITALS, THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT I MEAN MY WORDS? _

_ [groupchat] hawking: the alternative is that I come to your apartment and strangle you with my bare hands.  _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: There’s no need to get the moderators involved. This is a private matter, besides. _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: You know, Reyson threatened to kill me too… You two really are a match made in heaven  _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: And Skirmir, that isn’t how group chats work. We can understand you just fine. _

_ [groupchat] hawking: the only person allowed to kill you is me, Naesala. _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: Whatever you tell yourself, Tibarn _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: THERE WILL BE NO MURDER TODAY. WE WILL KEEP THE ALLIANCE TOGETHER AND I WILL FIGHT ANY OF YOU IN A 1V1 IF THAT IS UNDER QUESTION. _

_ [groupchat] hawking: I want Naesala to admit that he’s an asshole and to promise that he won’t do this sort of shit again. and if he breaks his promise, I get to break his knees. _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: You know, I get a lot of flak for my generall schemes, but has anyone ever said that you sometimes act more like a mob enforcer than a human being _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: Ha. _

_ [groupchat] hawking: well considering that nothing else really bothers you but your own self-interest, I need to find something that will be an effective threat. _

_ [groupchat] unlfinchingeye: So Tibarn proposes that Naesala apologizes and swears an oath to never betray the Bird Tribe again.  _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: I ALSO WOULD LIKE A FORMAL APOLOGY BY NAESALA. _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: HIS ACTIONS ALSO BROUGHT HARM TO MY GUILD, THOUGH TO A LESSER EXTENT. _

_ [groupchat] hawking: absolutely. _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: Naesala, what say you about this?  _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: I THINK THAT THE BEAST TRIBE DESERVES SOME COMPENSATION FOR WHAT HAPPENED. _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: I would like to point out that I have already apologized and gave Tibarn compensation for everything _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: And I did not directly harm The Beast Tribe  _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: If you had just stayed out of the conflict then we wouldn’t be having this conversation  _

_ [groupchat] hawking: unlike you, Skirmir is loyal to his allies. _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: YOU BROUGHT US INTO DIRECT CONFLICT WITH THREE OTHER MAJOR GUILDS. I FAIL TO SEE WHY THIS WOULD NOT HARM US. _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: Well, when you put it like that _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: Do I get to have any demands _

_ [groupchat] hawking: no. _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: NO. _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: Yes. _

_ [groupchat] hawking: are you fucking me.  _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: Thankfully no. _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: HAHAHAHAHAHA _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: Eat a dick Tibarn _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: WHY DOES THE TRAITOR GET TO EXPRESS AN OPINION? _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: Because even though he is an asshole, Tibarn has also been a little bitch about the situation. _

_ [groupchat] hawking: I take offense to that statement. _

_ [groupchat] skulldruggeryshadow: I don’t :> _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: WELL I WILL HEAR HIM SPEAK AND DISAGREE WITH HIM ON PRINCIPLE. _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: So I think that Tibarn should apologize to ME _

_ [groupchat] hawking: I have nothing to apologize for.  _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: I think that multiple threats to my life are something to apologize for _

_ [groupchat] hawking: but I wasn’t wrong.  _

_ [groupchat] hawking: I only apologize if I’m wrong. it’s why I don’t apologize much. _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: This is why I’m married and you’re not. _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: OH I THINK THAT WE SHOULD NOT GO THERE. AS RANULF WOULD SAY, THIS IS NOT CHILL. _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: Nailah, thank you for this  _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: This is everything I wanted out of life _

_ [groupchat] hawking: to quote Ranulf some more, I came here to have a good time and I’m feeling very attacked right now. _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: Tibarn will apologize to Naesala. Naesala will apologize to Skirmir and pay him for damages. Skirmir will promise to find the capslock button on his keyboard and use it.  _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: I will continue to be the only person in this chat who has a healthy relationship with my partner and a steady occupation. _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: Any questions?  _

_ [groupchat] skullduggeryshadow: Nope, I’m all good :> _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: I WILL AGREE TO THESE TERMS. _

_ [groupchat] TheLionsShare: WHAT IS THE CAPSLOCK BUTTON. _

_ [groupchat] hawking: hey no I want to still talk about this. _

_ [groupchat] unflinchingeye: Goodbye. _

_ [unflinchingeye has left] _

_ [TheLionsShare has left] _

_ [skullduggeryshadow has left] _

_ [groupchat] hawking: goddammit. _

#

Ike looked up from his phone as the door to the diner opened. Mist waved at him, her apron thrown over one arm and her phone in her off hand. She rushed over and enveloped Ike in a hug, which he accepted even if she smelled a bit like oil from the fryer — then again, it really just made his stomach rumble. 

"Don't tell me you're hungry already!" Mist teased, looking up at him with bright eyes. 

"Hey, Titania promised ribs. I've been waiting for those," Ike said, as if he hadn't also eaten lunch and a quick snack before picking Mist up. "Do you need to stop by your apartment or can we drive straight there?"

"I'm fine," Mist replied. She fell into an easy pace next to him. Ike was used to slowing down in order for his shorter friends to keep up. "Is Soren meeting us there?"

"Yeah, he said he had to finish some work." 

Mist made a face. "He's such a workaholic." 

"This is better than he used to be," Ike replied magnanimously. 

"I guess." Mist laughed. "Well, at least he doesn't ditch us anymore. I thought Titania was going to drag him out with her own two hands the last time that happened!"

The incident in question had been many years ago, long before Ike and Soren had officially tied the knot, but it was dramatic enough that the story got rolled out every few months. Soren, at least, was in general good humor about it nowadays. He just didn’t show up late anymore — he knew better than that.

Ike listened to Mist with good humor as they walked through the parking lot. He had to tug at his truck's door in order for it to open and Mist rolled her eyes again. 

"You know, you probably can have that looked at."

"It's fine," Ike insisted. "I'll just oil the hinges a bit this weekend." There was a look in Mist's eyes but she chose to let the conversation drop in favor of stepping up into the truck herself. 

Ike waited for her to buckle in before driving out of the parking lot, the radio playing some old rock music low enough so Mist’s chatter was perfectly audible. She was complaining about classes and work and Boyd’s latest foot fungus and laughed when she saw Ike’s face. 

“What?” She asked.

“I do not want to hear about Boyd’s feet in any context,” Ike told her. He racked his brain for literally anything else they could talk about. “How’s, uh, Jill?” 

Mist brightened. “She’s doing great!” Mist started to explain about Jill’s work in Adrestia, lots of little details and names that Ike didn’t remember. It was nice that Mist had so many friends, really, but Ike would never be the best with faces. 

There was a real advantage in socializing online when everyone walked around with their names literally above their heads. 

"Are you even listening to me?" Mist questioned. Ike shook his head. 

"Sorry," he told her, "I was thinking about  _ Fire Emblem. _ " 

"Of course you were — you and Boyd spend so much time playing that game. When was the last day you didn't play it?" 

Ike couldn't remember so he shrugged. Mist laughed, though not maliciously. 

"Whatever. What I was saying is that Jill wants me to visit this winter." Mist leaned back in her seat, eyes glancing between her phone and Ike. "Do you think that'll be okay?" 

There was a moment — a flash in the pan, really, hardly worth mentioning — where Ike had the urge to say  _ no. _ He took a deep breath and forced himself to remember that Mist was graduating college soon and that he was married and they were a long way from being worried that they'd never see each other again. 

"I think that it doesn't matter what I think," Ike said carefully. "You're old enough to decide those kinds of things. If you can afford it, then go for it." 

"You don't think it's a waste of my time?" 

"Why would — no? She's your friend. Go see her. Adrestia's got better winters than Faerghus anyways." Ike tapped on the steering wheel, some half-forgotten beat that was a half-step behind what was playing on the radio. "Where does Jill live again?" 

"Somewhere in the south. I guess it's in the Varley area?" Mist typed something on her phone. "Her dad said that I can stay with them for a week." 

"That's very nice of him." Ike thought about other parents and, inevitably, of his parents. The truck stopped at a red light and he took the opportunity to glance at the sunvisor. It had some elastic wrapped around it so a few photos could sit there. Call him old fashioned, but Ike’s father kept his own there and Ike followed the tradition.

Ike looked at the wedding photo of his parents — Elena in a cream dress, holding a bouquet of flowers, Greil in a three-piece suit, neither at all minding that it was at a courthouse and not a church — and at the polaroid of Elena in the passenger seat of this truck, hair flowing from the wind and her nose scrunched up in a laugh. Greil’s voice echoed in his head, telling him how  _ Your mother wouldn’t stop laughing even though she threatened to throw the camera out the window! _

He included recent photos too, though. There was a photo of Soren tucked towards the side, sly and half-hidden much like the smile he concealed behind slim fingers. Ike even had a picture of his pickup basketball team, a group of some of his oldest friends that played on weekends — at least when they weren’t running raids in  _ Fire Emblem _ , of course. 

“You know, sometimes I think Dad would be happy you were still driving the truck.” Mist let out a laugh. “But sometimes I think that he’d call you a big idiot for driving something that  _ he _ called a deathtrap.”

“It’s not that dangerous,” Ike protested. He tore his eyes away from the pictures and back onto the road. The truck hummed along. “Anyways, if you want to visit Jill, then I think you should go. Are you going to tell Titania?”

Mist shrugged. “Probably not tonight, but I will. Still gotta figure out some of the details with Jill.” 

“Sounds good to me.” 

They were almost to the house — and Ike’s stomach would not stop reminding him of that fact, much to Mist’s amusement — when Mist suddenly said,

“So when are you and Soren going on a vacation?” 

Ike raised an eyebrow at her. Mist looked at him innocently. He looked away. The wheel was warm under his hands. He gave it a moment, then two, then—

“Well, you’re always talking about how busy Soren is and you two haven’t gone anywhere since your honeymoon. Do you even use your PTO?”

“Do you even know what PTO is?” Ike teased. Mist shrieked and jokenly slugged him in the arm. He was about two and a half times her size and barely felt it. His grip on the wheel didn’t even slacken. 

“You’re so mean. I thought that you were going to treat me like an adult.”

“You can be an adult, but I’m still going to be your big brother.” Ike pat her on the head. “To answer your question, we haven’t really talked about it.” He tried to keep his voice light, but he had never been a good liar. Mist hummed. She didn’t say anything. Ike sighed. “We got an invitation to visit Enbarr this winter.”

“Really? Who? Is it, uh, the weird guy Soren talks to sometimes?” Mist gestured vaguely. “On  _ Fire Emblem _ .”

“That doesn’t narrow it down,” Ike told her. He debated lying, but what was the point? “It’s Almedha.” 

Mist’s face dropped. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

The radio played some upbeat song about fighting the world and embracing destiny. Ike thought it was pretty ironic. 

“I guess you aren’t going within 300 miles of Enbarr?”

“Probably not.” Ike didn’t know how to explain that, the more he thought about it, the more he wondered if the trip might be for the better. Not because he actually cared about Almedha, not because he wanted to see Enbarr, but…

Ike glanced at the picture of his mother, the one that looked so happy and young and free. He wondered if Almedha had ever been that happy. He wondered if she had dressed in white when she married Soren’s father. From everything he had been told, Almedha and Ashnard had run away from their parents. It had been a shotgun wedding, the one where papers were signed and rings exchanged and not much more than that.

For the first time, Ike considered how odd it was, the fact that his parents and Soren’s parents were probably married under very similar circumstances. He’d never mention it to Soren, not if he wanted to stay married himself. 

“Well, maybe Jill will show me some cool stuff and you can visit Varley sometime,” Mist said with forced cheer. Ike laughed.

“Sure.” He turned into Titania’s neighborhood and, as soon as the truck stopped, Mist leapt out. 

She ran up to the front door, which was wide open. The noise within streamed into the street, so Ike didn’t need to strain his ears to hear Boyd laughing or Shinon arguing with someone — probably Oscar. There was a shout as Mist entered, the echo hitting when Ike crossed the threshold. 

Titania’s living room was connected to the dining room, where half a veggie tray still lay on the table. From the smell, the ribs were still being prepped. Ike gladly took a beer from Gatrie, who slapped him on the back in greeting. A football game was on the TV, blasting sound that Mia still was able to speak over. She was talking with Rhys about her latest exploits in kickboxing, if the look on the man’s face was anything to go by. The hostess herself came out to hug Mist and Ike, giving him a once over as if he were still sixteen and getting into scrapes on the field. 

“Your husband is hiding in the kitchen,” she told him. Ike felt his eyebrows raise. “Yes, I was surprised too. I think he was hoping that you’d be early too.” 

“I don’t think I’ve been early to anything in my whole life,” Ike confessed even as he made his way to where Soren was. 

The kitchen was marginally quieter than the main room. His stomach alerted Soren of his presence before he could even say anything. Soren looked up from his phone, a small smile making Ike’s heart flip. 

“Hey,” Ike said. 

“Hello,” Soren replied. Ike crossed the room and wrapped Soren up in his arms, not even kissing him, just… Holding him. Experiencing him. “It’s been an hour,” Soren complained, but he squeezed Ike around the middle all the same.

“Was just thinking about stuff,” Ike admitted, because there was no universe where he successfully kept anything from Soren. 

“If you are worried about dinner, don’t be. I think Titania has enough to feed a small army.” Soren chuckled, which was pure magic to Ike’s ears. “Oscar brought his special sauce, the kind you almost got sick on last time.” 

“You liked it too,” Ike pointed out. Soren shrugged. 

The two of them pulled apart enough to look at one another. Ike, because he was admittedly a huge sap for one man and they were in private as far as Ike was concerned, kissed the birthmark on Soren’s forehead. Soren rolled his eyes. Ike laughed. 

“Did you have a good time finishing your work?” 

“Yes. I was more productive than I thought I would be, so I arrived early.” Soren glanced at the doorway, then back at Ike. “I think I scared Titania.” 

“It happens.” Ike must have done something with his face, because Soren frowned.

“Did you want to talk about anything?” He asked, never one to beat around the bush. Ike shook his head. “Are you certain? We still have a few minutes before food will be ready.” 

But Ike didn’t want to bring the mood down by admitting that he missed his parents, so he just shook his head again. 

“I’ll tell you later,” he promised. In the past, this would have worried Soren — he would have spent the rest of the night alternating between moody, clingy, and angry. But now he just took a deep breath and nodded.

“Okay. I trust you.” And that meant more than  _ I love you _ ever would. 

“Ike, stop making out with your husband and finish your beer before I fucking drink it!” Shinon shouted. Soren scowled. Ike laughed and kissed Soren once more before taking his hand and leading both of them to join their family. 

#

Tibarn was not pacing because that was weak, but he was moving from one side of the path to the other in a consistent manner that some could describe as pacing — he preferred to call it restlessness. The cobblestones were cold under his boots and a lesser man might have shivered at the chill of the night as it started to sink in, but he always ran hot and didn’t mind — even the three undone buttons on his shirt didn’t dull his edge. The flowers in his off hand were a bit rumpled, a few petals leaving a trail behind him like some kind of fairy tale, only he was stuck in place. 

For the first time in his life, Tibarn was the one who showed up early. He had even done laundry so his clothes were clean, though he didn't know how much fabric softener to use and now smelled faintly of detergent and other chemicals. He hoped that would fade with his own sheer will, but no luck so far. 

Reyson had always been better at, well, everything. 

“You brought flowers?” 

Spinning on his heel, Tibarn could feel a rush of relief run over him as his eyes fell on Reyson for the first time in several weeks. Reyson looked good — then again, Tibarn thought he always looked good. He was wearing the vegan leather jacket that Tibarn had gotten him several years ago as an anniversary present and there was a healthy glow in his skin. He had a carefully blank expression, but Tibarn was just happy that Reyson didn’t look mad.

He held out the flowers. Another petal fell and twisted through the air. Reyson sighed. 

“Thank you.” He took the flowers. Their fingers brushed and Tibarn cleared his throat. Reyson snorted but there was a small smile on his face. “Who told you to get tulips?” 

As much as Tibarn wanted to take credit, he was pretty sure Rafiel would run him over if he did, so he told the truth. Reyson shook his head, that infuriatingly gentle smile still on his face. 

“Well, I will take care of them for you.” He looked back at Tibarn. “You’re going to catch a cold wearing that out.” True, Reyson was bundled up in a coat and scarf already, but Tibarn hadn't literally warmed Reyson's bed for the last six years for nothing. Tibarn pounded his chest with a fist, his necklace jangling with the blow.

“I am made of sterner stuff than that,” he argued. “I do not need to worry about trivial things like the cold or rest or eating my vegetables.”

“You burnt them, didn’t you?” 

Tibarn made a face. “No, they are still in the fridge. How you enjoy eating squash I will never understand.”

“If you tried it, maybe you would.” Reyson scowled. Tibarn had a sensation not unlike when a pigeon shit in his hair on one of his first dates with Reyson. At least Reyson had found it funny. “What did you want, Tibarn?” 

And Tibarn didn’t even have to think about it.

“You.” 

Reyson’s eyebrows lifted so high, Tibarn was surprised that they remained on his face. 

“I miss you,” Tibarn admitted, and it took all his pride to do so. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I got pissed at Naesala. I got pissed at you. I got fucking furious at Nailah.” 

Again, another look from Reyson. 

“Don’t worry about it. We’re good.”

“Mhmm.” Reyson didn’t sound like he believed Tibarn, but he didn’t say anything so Tibarn would count that as a success.

“But the apartment’s boring without you. The plants are dying. Turns out I’m pretty shit with them.” Tibarn ran a hand through his hair. A few strands caught and he tugged them out with a wince. Almost instantly, Reyson was by his side, hands hovering and half-outstretched. Tibarn felt the flicker of a smile dance across his own face. “Seems like I need you a lot more than you need me.”

“Is that truly a surprise?” Reyson chided. He started to comb through Tibarn’s hair, frowning as he saw the state it was in. “Have you showered in the last week?”

“Yes!” Tibarn winced as Reyson pulled on a particularly stubborn knot. “You know I hate combing my hair.” 

“If you want long hair, you have to take care of it. Naesala—” Reyson paused. 

“You can say it,” Tibarn told him. “It’s probably true.” He hated the bastard and probably would be his cause of death, but Naesala always did have the best personal hygiene. 

“He’s still more slimy than you,” Reyson answered. Tibarn laughed. Reyson almost pat him on the cheek, then dropped his hand to awkwardly squeeze Tibarn’s shoulder. The levity seemed to evaporate faster than morning mist. “I suppose if you are apologizing to me, then I should say sorry too. I should have spoken with you before I left. It was immature of me to do anything else.”

Tibarn shrugged. “I was angry, yeah, and hurt, but honestly? I needed something to get me out of my own thick head.” 

“You are pretty thick-headed,” Reyson agreed. He stepped back, though he was still within arm’s reach. “We both were acting like teenagers.” 

“What can I say, babe? You just make me feel young.” Tibarn grinned. Reyson snorted but he was laughing even as he glanced down. “You know I love you, right?” 

“Of course. As I do you.” 

Tibarn took in a deep breath, let it out with a heavy exhale. “And I was really stupid this time.”

“Yes, you were.” Reyson didn’t even hesitate. Tibarn decided not to be offended. 

“I won’t do it again. I mean it.” Tibarn pointed to his necklace. There were a few feathers that hung off it, a beaded pattern, but the most obvious object was a silver ring that had been sitting there for some time. “I told you, years ago, that I would give this to you whenever you wanted it. I still mean that. But I’m not going to just wait for you to realize how hot I am—” Tibarn ignored Reyson’s snort— “I’m going to prove that this is something that you want.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Reyson squawked when Tibarn took his hand and spun him so that Reyson ended up dipped, one leg in the air as he desperately tried to stay balanced. Reyson’s hair almost touched the ground and his face was red. “Are you trying to get punched?” 

“I am wooing you,” Tibarn drawled, winking. Reyson blushed more. Tibarn pulled him back onto both feet, smug because Reyson didn’t let go of his hands. “I’ll sweep you off your feet. We’ll go to every wildlife reserve in the world. We’ll go to that Duscur botanical garden you always talk about. I’ll go vegetarian.”

Reyson looked at him. Tibarn sighed.

“Well, I’ll eat less meat. But really, Reyson—” And Tibarn stepped close enough that their foreheads almost touched and their breath mingled together— “I want to make it work. I want us to work.” 

For a terrible moment, Tibarn thought that Reyson was going to pull away and leave him there. The worst part was not the concept of that happening, but the fact that Tibarn would have no one to blame but himself if it did. 

But instead Reyson just ruffled his hair and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“You’re an idiot,” he said fondly, “I want us to work as well. Besides, Rafiel cannot lord over me his happy marriage for the rest of our lives.”

Tibarn laughed for a few reasons. “Rafiel does not seem like the kind to brag. Leanne? Yes. But not your brother.”

“He doesn’t do it on purpose, he just… Is in love.” Reyson met Tibarn’s eyes. Tibarn had no doubt that he looked like a stupid sap. He didn’t quite care. “I suppose you would know a little about that.”

“Hm, only a little.” Tibarn cupped Reyson’s cheek in one hand. “Maybe we can go home and watch the documentary you like? The one about professional wrestling.” 

“Are you sure that you don’t just want to watch that?” Reyson asked, as if he wasn’t just as much a fan as Tibarn. 

“Certain.” Tibarn leaned forward, hesitating just long enough for Reyson to stop him, before kissing him. Reyson’s chapstick tasted like vanilla. He smelled a bit like mint. 

He felt right. This felt right.

“You know,” Reyson murmured as their noses brushed and their lungs filled back up with air, “I think my lease is up in a few months.”

“I know some guys who can help you move,” Tibarn replied, smirking as he flexed a little. Reyson laughed. Tibarn felt like he could fly. 

"Yes, Naesala does owe us both, doesn't he?" 

Tibarn cackled. He loved this man. 

#

Pelleas was vibrating out of his skin by the time his phone started to ring. He grabbed it and answered before it could go to the second one.

“Hello—”

“There you are! Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice. You sound so tired, though. Are you sleeping enough? Do you need to take a break? You know that I would fly you back here in a heartbeat.” Almedha paused to take a breath and Pelleas jumped in, by now used to having to tactically navigate conversations with his own mother. 

“I’m perfectly fine, Mother. I’m happy to hear from you as well.” He took a moment to ground himself, then kept going even as Almedha began to speak again. “Uncle Kurth told me what you did to Soren.” That managed, at least, to make her fall silent. “You can’t do that anymore. It’s not healthy.”

Almedha sighed. “I know, I know, I just — I get so emotional. It’s just like when you first went to college. I was so worried. All I could imagine was you falling ill or dying without me, your loving mother, to take care of you…” 

This was not how Pelleas wanted this conversation to go, so he quickly jumped back in.

“But you’re taking your medications again, right? And you’re still seeing your therapist?”

“Yes.” Almedha spoke with surprising conviction, the kind usually reserved for telling Pelleas that he needed to eat more or that he wasn’t sleeping enough. “I am.” 

There was an honest moment of silence. Pelleas felt a bit disconcerted. Those didn’t usually happen when his mother was speaking. 

“I hope that you know that I love you dearly, Pelleas.” Almedha’s was soft, fragile. Pelleas knew what denial looked like — knew from the only time he had, in a moment of pure frustration, shouted that Almedha was lying because he didn’t belong and he was a mistake, that he wasn’t even her real son and that she should have left him at the orphanage. Almedha had broken down. 

Kurthnaga had driven her to the hospital that night. 

Pelleas had a great number of doubts, but he would never doubt that Almedha loves him. That was not as reassuring as it should be.

“I know. I love you too,” Pelleas replied. “How’s Grandfather?”

“He is well,” Almedha reassured him. Her voice took on a light aura, the cheer forced but hardly false. “He complains little about his headaches, now, and he has been cleared to go to Faerghus for his work trip. I told him about Soren, but he doesn’t seem interested at all.” 

“Soren filed a restraining order against him,” Pelleas reminded her.

“Which he dropped all those years ago,” Almedha said with a laugh, as if hers was not the last to be dropped, as if she weren’t restricted to only communicating with Soren through a video game. “Have I told you that I invited your brother to stay with us this winter? He hasn’t gotten back to me yet.”

Pelleas would have to suffer amnesia to have forgotten Almedha’s offer. She had declared it over dinner, two days before he was set to fly out to school. Kurthnaga and Ena had both attempted to dissuade her. It had gone about as well as they all thought it would, but technically Soren hadn’t turned her down so Almedha clung to the faintest slivers of hope. 

Only someone who could have searched for her son for ten years could have that kind of mentality, a fragile constitution but resistance past that of the normal person. Pelleas knew that Grandfather sometimes called him weak-willed, but the few times he had tried to assert himself… well, Almedha got her iron-will from someone. In fact, the entire family had moments where they could dig in their heels and push back. Everyone but Pelleas, of course.

It was yet another reason why Soren was the perfect son, even though he almost had torn the family apart. 

“I hope that we will know soon,” Pelleas said diplomatically.

“I do as well. I’m sure you two would get along.” There was very little that Pelleas was more certain of than the fact that he would not get along with Soren. “And he must know that he’s welcome, even if he’s my son and not — well, you know.” Almedha never really came out and said it, but Pelleas still remembered her crying and saying that he was killing her daughter. She didn’t say it anymore, but he wondered if she still thought it. 

Maybe a braver Pelleas would have agreed with her. As it was, he could only promise that he was still the same. 

“I do hope that you come back as well. I can’t imagine spending the holidays without my family.”

“I will see when my exams will be complete. I’ll let you and Uncle Kurth know.” Pelleas adjusted his grip on the phone. “Mother, will you promise to take care? You frightened me.” It was a low card to play, but it was effective. He imagined that her gasp would have been audible even without the phone.

“Of course! I am so, so sorry to have worried you.” Almedha suddenly laughed. “That reminds me, however. Did you get the present I sent you?” 

Pelleas glanced at the place in his dorm that was reserved for the trinkets and toys that Almedha sent him. Most of it was food — he was not that small, only Grandfather was very large and intimidating — but there were also new clothes, books, and occasionally soaps or shampoos, as if she were concerned about him smelling like apples or mint or whatever struck her fancy. 

“Yes,” Pelleas told her, though he couldn’t quite remember what the last token had even been. “Thank you.” 

“Let me know if you want more. I would not want you to go without.”

“I will.” He stared at his wall. “I have homework that I need to do.”

Almedha launched into a rambling speech about how diligent he was, how intelligent he was, how he was such a good student and she was so proud of him — 

“And I hope you are resting as well. No late night study sessions. They aren’t good for you.”

“Of course. Goodbye,” he said.

“I love you, Pelleas.”

“I love you too, Mother.” He hung up. He let out a sigh of relief. He knew that he’d have to prepare to do it all again tomorrow.

Instead of work, he opened his laptop to play some  _ Fire Emblem _ .

#

"That good, huh?" Ike teased as Soren finished off his plate before Ike could. Soren blushed and looked away, threading a few locks of hair through his fingers. 

"I… may have forgotten to eat lunch today." 

Rather than growing angry or upset, Ike nodded sympathetically. 

"Well, I'll get you some more then. I'm glad you like it." He stood and collected Soren's plate, placing a kiss on the top of his head as he did not. Soren managed to adopt an even darker red hue. "Did you want anything else while I'm up?" Ike asked as he went to the kitchen. 

"No thank you," Soren replied. 

The apartment was quiet for a moment as Ike spooned more of the chili onto Soren's plate and grabbed an extra roll for good measure. Ike headed back with quick steps, setting the plate in front of Soren with a smile. 

"Here you go." He sat back down and didn't protest when Soren laced their fingers together. "You know, when Titania signed me up for cooking classes I was certain I'd never use those skills. I thought I could live off pizza and wings for my whole life."

"You could, it would just be a short existence," Soren replied. 

"I think I'm not allowed to die young."

"Also true." Soren closed his eyes in peace, savoring his bite. Ike considered his next words but didn't have a chance to speak as Soren, without looking at him, said, "I can tell you are thinking of something."

"Am I that loud?" 

"No, I just know you." Soren opened his eyes. "Is it what was on your mind last weekend?"

"Yes." They looked at each other. Ike took another bite of his chili. He made a mental note to add more pepper next time. It could have more of a kick. 

"I do not want to make a fuss, but—"

"It's about this winter break." Ike set his fork down. "I was talking to Kurth." 

Soren stilled. Ike waited. He could practically count to ten alongside him. 

"What were you talking about?" Soren asked, rather than jumping to a conclusion. 

"He reminded me that you are invited to Enbarr this winter. I know that Almedha wants to see you again, as do the rest of the family." 

"Why would I ever want to see that woman again?" Soren asked. His voice was cold, but not cruel. Ike supposed that was all he could hope for, in a sense. 

"She's apologized for what she's done. Except for the incident, she's followed every request of yours to the letter—"

"Only because she knows I will cut her off without a second thought." Soren placed his fork down. "I know you wish to see the good in everyone. It is what makes you a good person. But any good in her is twisted. She will smother you to death so that no one else can harm you." But Soren twitched, his finger flexing before returning to its original place, and Ike knew what it sounded like when Soren was angry. This wasn't it. 

Still, Ike knew better than to charge into the conversation waving his words like a broadsword. 

"You still talk to her, though." 

"Yes." Soren sighed. "Talking to her through a computer game is different than seeing her, Ike. And it is different from staying in her home."

"We can get a hotel. We have the money." It was true — between Soren's natural frugalness and his massive salary, they probably could go on vacations every break or at least live in a bigger apartment. They just didn't. "And we can leave whenever you like. Even if we're only there for a day. I won't mind." 

"I know you would not." Soren looked down. "I asked my therapist. He said that it could be a good step forward, but it could also be a step back." 

"What do you think?" 

Soren let out another, deeper sigh. A few locks of hair fell past his eyes. Ike brushed them back with a careful sweep of his hand. Soren glanced up at him, eyes wide, as if it were still a surprise that Ike cared for him. 

"I don't know. Should I care for her as my mother? I suppose. Has she ever hurt me directly? Not in so many words. But I spent so long blaming the idea of a mother, or imagining her…" Soren squeezed Ike's hand. Ike squeezed back. "The reality is so much different from what I pictured. I wanted to hate her. I wanted to love her. Instead, I find myself anxious. Not fearful. I know she could never really hurt me in any ways that matter. But I never know how to act around her." 

"Like when you were still getting used to my dad." 

"Yes. It's hard to explain—"

"You don't need to explain anything to me." Ike tried to be reassuring and landed somewhere between there and brash, but Soren accepted it with an incline of his head. 

Even after so many years, Ike still felt like he was learning new things about Soren. Really, between their different diagnoses, it was a miracle and inevitable that they ended up together. 

"I will support whatever decision you make. I just think that, if we set boundaries and stay in a hotel, that we can make it work." Ike shrugged. "But we can also go visit Almyra or something." 

"Yeah." Soren fidgeted with his fork. "Can I ask what made you think about this?" 

Ike swallowed. "I was thinking about my mother." 

"Oh." Soren frowned. "Almedha is much different from your mother, from all you have told me about Elena." 

"I know. But I also know that I would do a lot of bad things to have more time with my mother." 

"I suppose." Soren forced a smile. Ike decided not to call him out on it. "Let's finish dinner and then can we just cuddle a bit?" 

"Of course." Ike brought Soren's knuckles up to his lips. Soren chuckled. 

"Ha. I cannot believe that you scare your first-years. They must think you’re so intimidating.” 

“I think it is the muscles,” Ike replied. There was something that flashed in Soren’s eyes. His dinner was long forgotten in front of him. 

“It is definitely the muscles.” 

Ike laughed and was unsurprised when, after dinner, the cuddling quickly turned into something much more intimate.

#

He took a deep breath, made sure that his hair was still slicked back without a hair out of place, and knocked on the front door. A moment passed. He was ready to stand there for a while, an idiot in a trenchcoat, a bouquet of flowers in one hand while the other toyed with one of the rings on his fingers. It was entirely possible, as well, that she wasn’t even home. He could be here for a while.

Thankfully, it was only a minute later before Leanne flung open the front door. She beamed at him. 

“Naesala!” She hugged him, crushing his ribs with the force. “Did you forget something? I did not find anything when I was cleaning.” 

“Hey, Leanne,” Naesala awkwardly patted her on the back. “I wanted to stop by. I didn’t leave anything.” 

She pulled back enough to look at him and tilted her head in confusion. Naesala held up the flowers. They were nice — white roses wrapped in pastel pink paper with a matching ribbon around the middle. 

“For you,” he said. Leanne gasped, releasing her grasp on him to scoop the flowers up in her hands. 

She took a deep breath as she smelled them, blonde hair fluttering around her shoulders. Leanne was wearing a very nice Empire waist dress, yellow with white along the neckline. Sunshine in opposition to Naesala’s dreary attire — a bit heavy-handed of a metaphor, if he ever had heard of one, but apt. 

Crappy metaphor or not, Naesala couldn’t help but smile when Leanne beamed at him.

“Thank you. This is very kind of you.”

“You’re welcome. I wanted to thank you for letting me stay here for a bit.” Naesala cleared his throat. “Do you mind if I come in? It’s a bit cold.” More, he didn’t want to linger on her front steps, perhaps a bit irrationally concerned that someone would spot him and get angry or tell him to leave. It wasn’t like that had happened in years, but some instincts never left.

Leanne just nodded and led him inside. He took his boots off at the front door while she slipped into the kitchen, finding a vase for the flowers. Naesala lingered by the doorway as she transplanted the flowers, examining each and chattering to them in a language that he barely remembered. He knew enough to pick up on the gist of her message — she would care for them as long as they lasted. 

Naesala just stood there, arms crossed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and anxiety curl unpleasantly in his stomach. It felt a bit weird, being back. He usually stopped by once a month to say hello and catch up, but he rarely spent so much time there. Visiting this soon after his mild mental break was… disconcerting. 

“Do you want anything to drink or eat?” Leanne asked.

“No, thanks though.” Naesala looked at the fridge, which was plastered with reminders or flyers kept up with novelty magnets. There were a few from other cities she had visited, a few Tibarn or other friends had gifted her, and then her favorite set of butterfly and moth magnets. Naesala was proud to say that the large Monarch butterfly magnet he had given her for her birthday was still present. 

Leanne sat at the kitchen table, a small rickety thing rescued from the city dump and cleaned thoroughly by Naesala and Tibarn back when they were still a thing. It was probably as old as Naesala’s car by this point, not that he would admit that. 

“Sit down,” she said, in her not-a-question voice. Naesala sat down. The chair creaked under his weight. “Are you okay? Reyson—”

“He and Tibarn are too busy being happy to care about me.” Naesala glanced between her and the wall. “I wanted to thank you.”

“You have. Multiple times.” 

“Right. I… meant more for everything. Not just for the past few weeks.” Naesala sighed. “I know that I’ve put you and your brothers and… and even Tibarn through the ringer. It’s not fair of me to keep expecting your apologies. Even if Tibarn was irrational about a video game, he has other reasons to distrust me that are perfectly valid.”

“You are not that person anymore,” Leanne insisted.

“But I was and for a very long time. You were too young, but I—” Naesala blanched. “I did some very bad things for bad reasons. Reyson remembers. So does Rafiel.”

“They have told me some,” Leanne reminded him. “I am not a little girl anymore. I know about the drugs and the crime.”

“I — I know that.” Naesala felt his fingers twitch. “I came here because I wanted to relapse, okay? It’s been almost six years since I last had anything stronger than some Advil, but one bad fight and it makes me crave it all over again.” 

Leanne frowned. She reached out but he drew his hands away before she could touch him. 

“You are not bad because you did things in the past,” she murmured.

“I’m bad because I’m willing to do them again,” Naesala replied.

“But you did not.”

“Because of you. And that is not fair to you.” He felt his voice rise and forced himself to breathe. “This is not a conversation to save my soul. I am coming here to promise you something.” When Leanne remained quiet, he took that as a sign to continue. “Yes, you help motivate me in ways that I can’t describe. Reyson was always soothing, but I hurt him more than I’ve ever hurt you. And the gods know that Tibarn and I were a match made in hell.”

“They are happier together,” Leanne agreed, which should have made Naesala happy but left him feeling a bit nauseous. “I am happy to help.”

“But it’s not your job to help me.” Naesala looked at the table. The wood was marked with old scars. He wondered if anyone had ever found the skull he carved in one of the legs. Tibarn had called him an idiot. 

Naesala still thought it was kind of cool. 

“I’m going to find a professional. Someone to help me be better. Maybe I’ll always have these urges and maybe I’ll never be the most trustworthy person, but I’m never going to let that hurt you or anyone else again.” Naesala’s lips twitched. “I might still be a suspicious fellow. I can never be too earnest. But I’ll make sure that, if I lie, it’s for a damn good reason.”

“I trust you.”

“A bad decision.”

“You say that every time,” Leanne called him out. Naesala shrugged. “Is this why you will not ask me out?” Leanne’s voice was innocent, but her eyes were sharp. Naesala could understand why people underestimated the woman who looked like she was a movie princess, who spoke softly and still cried at sad children’s movies, but Leanne grew up with Reyson and Naesala. She was more perceptive than half the idiots out there and smart enough to avoid the other half.

_ Though not smart enough to avoid me, _ Naesala thought darkly. He set that aside for the time being. 

“Let me put it this way, Leanne. I know that I am not good enough for you yet. You deserve someone who is a gentleman. A knight in shining armor. I am but a humble rogue, charming and dashing and exciting, but I’ll never be able to provide what you need.”

“Why do you get to decide what I need?” 

“I… I mean—”

“You can say if you do not want to date me. But I want to date you as you are now or as you are in the future.” Leanne extended her hand, placing it palm-up on the table. “You do not need to change unless you are unhappy.”

Naesala blinked. He chuckled and shook his head. 

“I suppose,” he replied. “Very well, when I am happy with how I am, then I will sweep you off your feet. None of this nonsense that Tibarn and Reyson are doing. We’ll do it properly. Even Rafiel will be Jealous of us.”

“Rafiel does not get jealous,” Leanne pointed out. 

Naesala shrugged. He took her hand and, gently, squeezed it. 

“You do not need to wait for me. Even if you do not, I… I should get better for myself. But I appreciate your support for as long as you can give it.” 

“You have it for as long as you want it.” Leanne’s eyes gleamed with someone a bit sharper. “As long as you do not date my brother again.”

“I… I deserve that, I think.”

“Yes.” 

Naesala decided not to push it. He looked at the fridge again. There was a polaroid photo from last year, one where Leanne had forced everyone to come over for New Year’s. Tibarn was in the back, one arm around Reyson’s waist. Rafiel held up a peace sign from his chair while Nailah was in his lap, arms around his shoulders. And then there was Naesala, secretly holding her hand and so close to her that he could still remember the smell of her shampoo. 

Of course, Tibarn had noticed their hand-holding and yelled at him as soon as the photo was taken, calling him a creep and an asshole trying to corrupt Leanne — not a care that she was only two years younger than him, that he had never even looked at her when they were kids, that he was always respectful and had never so much as kissed her on the cheek. 

“Hey, Leanne?” 

“Yes, Naesala?”

“About that drink… Is it okay if I stay for tea?” Naesala smiled. Leanne smiled back.

“I would love that.” 

#

_ [Conversation with trulybloodied] _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I have a question for you. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: I am all ears. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Is it about Fire Emblem or something else? _

_ [whisper] blackblood: Something else. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Well? I would rather not have to play twenty questions to get your question. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Yes, sorry. I hardly know how to ask it.  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: I jest. Take your time. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: I am in no rush.  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Do you ever think about your family? _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: I suppose you are not thinking about my found family. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: No. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: I try not to. I have no doubt that they care not for me, so why should I waste my time caring for them? _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: But it isn’t that easy. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Exactly.  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: And you? Your family contacted you and you have spoken with them, last you said. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Yes.  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: They want me… My mother wants me to visit this winter. With Ike, but… _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Do you want to visit?  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I do not know. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I feel as if I’ve asked everyone about this, but you are the only one who knows even a fraction of what it is like. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: I don’t know whether I should take that as a compliment or not. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I don’t intend it one way or another.  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: What would you gain from visiting them?  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Answers? A sense of belonging? Knowledge as to why I am the way I am? _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Some sense as to what a family is like.  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: If you could, would you meet your family again?  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: I think if they apologized, I would consider it.  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: But my situation is still different from yours. I ran away. I was never going to get the respect and freedom that I wanted. They would not recognize me now, if I walked down the street and spoke with them. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Your family did not have a choice. You were kidnapped.  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded Yes, stolen out of my own home by the man who had the audacity to call himself my father. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I know the people who speak to me now have nothing to do with that, but I cannot help but…  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I don’t know. I dislike not knowing. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Oh, we all do.  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Is this the only time you will have to meet them? Perhaps you could meet them elsewhere or another time. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: So I can postpone it until what, we are all old and grey?  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I am many things, but I like to think I am not a coward. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: No one who has gone through what we have gone through can call himself a coward.  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I suppose. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: They are not evil. I should be fine. I should want to meet them. They’re my family. But all I can think of when I see them is pain and anger and anxiety. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Well, most people don’t need to take out restraining orders on family members. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: So you think I should not do it?  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: I think that it is an opportunity that will come up again. I think that, if it were my family, I would need a very real apology from them. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: But my family hurt me in a different way than your family hurt you. My family actively hurt me. They were the cause. Your family neglected you. They let you be hurt. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: And maybe that shouldn’t matter. Maybe they should still be held responsible.  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: But I cannot be the judge, jury, and executioner. Only you can.  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: You are right, unfortunately.  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I really won’t know unless I do it, will I? _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: That is correct. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: We cannot always know the outcome of our actions. We can take steps to control it. We can protect ourselves from the bad. But we can never really know. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Have you ever been to Enbarr? _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: I grew up there. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: That is where my family lived. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I always assumed that you were from Dagda. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: No, I only call that my home now.  _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: About as far as I could get, really, without sailing across the entire ocean.  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I understand the sentiment. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: You’ve given me much to think about. Thank you. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: Of course. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: And if you ever want to join my guild, you have only to ask. _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: Really, Stefan? _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: We cannot have a conversation without me asking, at least.  _

_ [whisper] blackbloodbranded: I would never leave Ike’s side. _

_ [whisper] trulybloodied: I know. _

_ [End of conversation with trulybloodied] _

Soren looked at his computer. It was late enough in the night that Ike was fast asleep, but there were some things that never changed and Soren’s insomnia was one of them. Still, the office was far enough from the bedroom and Soren was quiet enough that Ike slumbered peacefully in their bed. 

Part of Soren thought to join him. The rest knew that sleep was not in the cards for the night.

He pulled up an Internet browser. His last open tabs blinked up. There was a work email reminding everyone that they had to use their remaining time off or lose it. 

In a new tab, Soren typed  _ flights to Enbarr. _

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, you might want to check out my other MMORPG fics, where I go absolutely ham with the RPG elements. Yeah, it gets worse. Hope you liked the fic! 
> 
> Find me on [Twitter.](https://twitter.com/ashes8012)


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